He needed to sleep
by Amelia Mia Stark
Summary: Steve's feelings after the battle of Siberia where painful and regretful "He placed the phone and the letter in the FedEx box. He was wounded, and doing this was like putting salt on that wound." One OC is mentioned in this Story. She is from "She needs you"
1. 1

There was just a shy light glowing from the nightstand lamp in Steve's bedroom. Next to the lamp, there was a portrait showing Steve smiling happily to the camera, and Sharon hugging him from his back and kissing his cheek. That photo was taken by Tony on Steve's birthday.

The bed was occupied by a backpack that seemed to be filled up at its maximum capacity, a flip phone and his jacket. He has gotten the shield bag too, out of habit, but once he remembered with a painful tightness in his chest what happened in Siberia he put it away.

Rogers was sitting on the floor of his bedroom with his back resting against the border of the bed. He looked tired due to the lack of sleep and the pain in his recovering body. His usually neatly shaved beard now was three days long, mostly because of a large bruise on his left jaw, a constant reminder of how good Tony's right hook was.

He thought about taking a nap before leaving his apartment until further notice. That night the rouge Avenger will be leaving to a super secret and remote location (Sam's words to describe a small town in Canada). He pulled his head back, resting it on the bed. It was as soft as a marshmallow.

Steve groaned exasperated - who the hell created such an uncomfortable thing?- he said at loud

To be honest, the poor bed was innocent. It was his fault, he couldn't find peace anywhere; what happened on Siberia was still too fresh on his memory. He kept on thinking about possible scenarios in which the things could've been different, and all of them came down to the same, clear and simple, conclusion: he messed up big time.

Bucky was practically his brother. Their friendship started over a century ago, but Tony was also his friend. No matter how many times they had disagreements, Tony has always proven his loyalty to him, and the team

He, Tony, even flew all the way over there to backed them up, just to find out that one of them had killed his parents on cold blood and the other hid it from him. Honesty, Steve was sure he deserved that annoying pain on his jaw

Granted, Bucky was brainwashed. He didn't want to kill Howard or his wife, but Steve knew he should have told Tony.

-I'm always honest- Steve said with bitter sarcasm in his voice- sure thing I am.

He was upset. He failed to one of his friends, he jeopardize the Avengers, he broke Mia's heart one more time and he even kept Clint apart from his family

-I should've known better- He said with watery eyes, grabbing the phone that was lying on his bed. He sighted looking at his desk. There was a letter and a FedEx box on top of it - all I can do now is apologize for my mistakes- he added.

Steve stood up and walked the distance between the bed and the desk. He opened the letter and re-read it to himself one more time.

Tony

I'm glad you're back at the compound.

I don't like the idea of you rattling around a mansion by yourself. We all need family.

The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine.

I've been on my own since I was 18. I never really fit in anywhere, even in the army.

My faith's in people, I guess. Individuals. And I'm happy to say that, for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either.

Locks can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't.

I know I hurt you, Tony.

I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself, and I'm sorry.

Hopefully one day you can understand. I wish we agreed on the Accords, I really do. I know you're doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do.

That's all any of us should...

So no matter what, I promise you, if you need us - if you need me -

I'll be there.

Steve

Steve sighted again. He placed the phone and the letter in the FedEx box. He was wounded, and doing this was like putting salt on that wound.

-I really hope he forgive me one day- Rogers thought -Although I wouldn't blame him if he doesn't.

-I should call her- he continued in his mind - I Should say goodbye

He pulled another flip phone from his pocket and dialed by memory Sharon's phone number, his girlfriend at the moment.

He waited with the phone on his ear. Captain America felt like the worse human being in all Brooklyn, and he really needed some comfort from his loved ones, as selfish as this made him fell.

-Hello?- said a female voice on the other end of the line - who is this?

His heart sank deeper and deeper. He called Amelia Stark, his ex-girlfriend. Tony's daughter. They dated for three years until the battle of Sokovia, when Steve decided to end the relationship to keep her safe.

"Idiotic" was the word Tony used to describe his decision. That relationship was kept in secret, only close friends and family new about them. It was dangerous enough to be a Stark, she didn't need the "Rogers component" on that equation

He wasn't sure why he dialed Mia's number, but hearing her voice made chills go up and down his spine. He noticed a little blush on his cheeks, and an immediate sensation of peace in his chest.

All that lasted seconds, once his mind realized the mistake, the pain came back. He was 90% sure his reaction could be defined as emotional cheating on his girlfriend. He truly hated himself that night

-Idiot- Steve thought once he realized he has been holding the phone on his ear for a few minutes, without talking. The woman on the line kept saying "Hello" a few more times. He could even swear that he heard Tony saying "IDIOT!" on the back

Then quickly he hung up.

-Idiot- He said again- what is wrong with me?- he added - I'm being a complete jerk -

He looked at his bed again, perhaps he should sleep at least a few hours. At least just try. He placed the bag on the floor and laid on his bed. The photo from the night stand made him feel guilty, so he put in on the first drawer.

On its way out, his hand collided with a small box. He knew exactly what it had inside, but Steve pulled it out anyways.

He sit up in his bed opening the box. Inside there were a small jewelry box, a folded piece of paper, and a key. With shaking hands he grabbed the jewelry box and opened it. It contained the engagement ring he bought for Mia: a princess cut diamond with small diamonds on the band. It was delicate and elegant like her. He would've like a yellow gold one, like his mother, but he bought it on white gold, because Mia hated being flashy.

He had a sad smile on his face, they could've been happy together. He then slowly open the folded paper.

"Steve

I'm so sorry. I know I should say this in person, but I don't know how to say bye to you.

I'm not mad, I'm truly not. I do appreciate you trying to keep me safe. It just hurts so much.

I left my copy of the key on the kitchen. Also, I left you some food in the fridge. Please, eat.

Love you forever

Mia"

He sighed, wiping off his tears. He needed to sleep a few hours before dropping off the package, talk to Sharon and start his nomad life.


	2. Chapter 2

I modified the story a little bit!

Also, I corrected some typos

Let me know what you think


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